How to Tell When You've Been Gaslighted at Work

Have you ever felt confused, insecure, and doubted yourself after an interaction at work?

You might be experiencing gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that manipulates someone into questioning their own reality. It can be incredibly damaging in the workplace, leaving you feeling disengaged and affecting your performance.

This blog will explore the signs of gaslighting at work, how to recognise it, and steps you can take to protect yourself.

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What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a series of behaviours that make someone question their sanity, memories, or judgment. It's often subtle and manipulative, making it difficult to pinpoint exactly what's wrong.

Signs of Gaslighting at Work:

• Denial and Minimising: You raise a concern, but your boss denies it ever happened or downplays its significance.

• Example: "You must be mistaken, Sara. I never said that deadline was next week."

• Twisting the Truth: The gaslighter rewrites history, making you think you misremembered or misunderstood.

• Example: "Wait, Jonah, I thought YOU were the one who suggested canceling that presentation."

• Trivialising Your Feelings: Your emotions are dismissed as "overreacting" or "being too sensitive."

• Example: "Don't be so dramatic, Larissa. It's just a little criticism, you can handle it."

• Withholding Information: You're kept out of the loop, left feeling confused and powerless.

• Example: "There's no need to worry about that project, Mohammad. I'll handle it." (Then later) "Why didn't you contribute more ideas?"

• Gaslighting by Omission: Important details are conveniently "forgotten," making it hard for you to do your job effectively.

• Example: "Oh, I completely forgot to mention that client prefers green, not blue for the logo."

Examples by Role:

Gaslighting can come from anyone at work – a colleague, a boss, or even a client.

• Colleague: A coworker might steal your credit for an idea and then deny they ever heard it.

• Boss: Your manager might constantly criticise your work, leaving you feeling incompetent.

The Impact of Gaslighting:

Gaslighting can have a serious impact on your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and difficulty trusting your own judgment.

Challenge Gaslighting Appropriately:

If you suspect you're being gaslighted, here are some tips:

• Trust Your Gut:  If something feels off, it probably is. Don't ignore your intuition.

• Document Everything:  Keep a record of interactions, dates, and specific examples of gaslighting behaviour.

• Seek Support:  Talk to a trusted colleague, friend, or HR representative. Don't isolate yourself.

• Set Boundaries:  If possible, limit your interactions with the gaslighter.

• Challenge the Behaviour:  Calmly and directly address the issue, using "I" statements like "I feel frustrated when..."

If you're experiencing gaslighting at work, remember you're not alone. By recognising the signs and taking steps to protect yourself, you can minimise its impact and maintain a healthy work environment.

If you feel you need to talk to someone outside of your organisations there is support through ACAS, you can also call the National Bullying Helpline, these are UK based companies so you may want to look at alternatives in other parts of the world.